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oX_CiNdY_Xo
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Name: Cindy
Country: United States
State: Virginia
Metro: Fairfax County
Birthday: 4/24/1933
Gender: Female
Interests: this was written for some chem assignment, but i thought it was a good description of me. :)
Cindy Wei was born in China on April 24, 1933 and raised in various states along the east coast. She now resides in Hyubkiebk, MZ with her family of four. In her spare time, she enjoys to read, write, and spend as much time with her friends and family as possible. She has the dream to travel the world, experience different cultures, change a life, and live a spontaneously stable and happy life. She is easily amused by a good joke, stimulated by a good conversation, and intrigued by the unknown. She lives for chocolate, mint chocolate chip ice cream, and a ridiculously high amount of endorphins. She lives to learn while learning to live.
Message: message me
Member Since:
1/31/2004
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| phew.
I just privatized the last of my public posts-- dating from jan 2005. My friends, that is over three years ago.
But reading through my posts, I felt more than slightly nostalgic. Where I am now-- is this where I would've thought that i would be as a freshman? sophomore? junior? But then again, where am I now?
Have I changed? Sure, I've changed. Honestly, I think I just worry more now.
It's also strange reading comments and those survey things were people write about you-- rmr those?
and to see all the people I've lost touch with. and while reading those, I desperately wanted to find them again, call them up, let them know that i still think of them, rmr them, and reminisce. but then I rmr how much we've all changed and how we've all settled.
settled. what a horrible concept. it creates lines and boundaries that needn't exist.
I rmr that I met a girl at the mun bbq before school started freshman year. I thought she was such a nice and cool person and that I would be best friends with her immediately at the start of school. Sadly enough, once school started, we never talked once. Whenever I pass her in the hallways, I want to wave, or say hi, or just acknowledge her, but then I realize that my "connection" to her is just concocted in my own head. For all I know, I'm just another passing face. And no, she never did do mun.
It's just that once I've forged a connection, a friendship, some sort of bond with anyone- I hold onto it. Maybe not visibly or strongly, but I always feel the urge to express it. I think it's sad when people stop waving "hi" in the hallways after a little while. I wonder if it's because people are fleeting or if relationships are.
I think as I've gotten older, I've tried desperately to hold onto my concept of humanity and the way that I think things "are." But it's gotten harder for me to believe in things that I always have, especially the word, "always."
I'm going to continue this later. I've realized that I have a lot to say, but I've also got some homework to finish off.
Until next time...
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| this summer--
i basked in the summer sun. i had my first real job. i ate catered food
for lunch. i relaxed on the beaches of north carolina. i refired my
love for 2008. i learned a little more about the world and about people
through unconcious conversations and disconnected verses. i found a new
music love. i felt freedom. i learned the meaning of true angst. i
watched childhood friends grow up. i lived in new places with
unfamiliar faces. i felt in-control. i felt like time was moving too
fast. i babysat a new girl down the block. i saw the vulnerability of
people. i rode a bike along a highway. i updated my scrapbook. i slept
in a tent in my basement. i made t-shirts. i stressed out about summer
work. i watched someone open up. i doubted myself. i've tried to paint
my room. i've watched a horrible movie. i've watched a really good
movie. i've BBQ'd. i had someone thank me for helping them break out of
their shell (which i must admit, is a very good feeling). i took
classes at the gym. i crashed my mother's car. i changed my feelings
about certain people--for better for worse. i felt like i was making a
difference--or so attempting to. i felt weight on my shoulders. i saw
stars actually twinkle and it gave me faith in the songs they made us
sing as children.
(format as done by lulu)
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| ah, i love summer.
it's so liberating. and it's good to be away from the world for a while and create an unique one for the summer comprised of early morning yoga classes, tennis playing failure, going to pools two times within a day--indoor and outdoor, hot tubs & saunas & steam rooms, working fatigue and good lunches catered from macaroni grill, free ice cream, summer reading coupon books, hot weather, and grand plans and schemes. and also doing it with the person whom i always spend my summers with. yay.
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| ah, i realized how chill summer was/is today.
got up at 7, baiyin picked me up and we went to work for like...11 hours...seriously. we got there at 8 and then left at 7. heh, we worked overtime, those papers needed to be shredded. however, it does kind of worry me that some of the scanning could have been messed up and now all the files are thin strips of interlocking papers in big plastic bags. but work is so much fun. and it feels so good knowing that i'm making my own money and not by means of babysitting 7 years olds that want to play with my hair. and oh my goodness, the food is SO good during lunch. and there's always free catered food because the drug companies come present their stuff and bring food. mmm. soooo good. they were really yummy "make yourself" fajitas. mmm. SO good. and they also brought really yummy desserts. mmm. and they also had breakfast. i'm going to get fat. at least it's only twice and week? and plus, we now have membership to worldgate soooo i'll be working out. but it was really cool--working, that is. and the other co-workers that i was working with were really extremely cool. they were college kids but they were soooo chill and funny and all. fun stuff. and then i came home and ate some chinese food and changed into "lounge-wear" and baiyin picked me up again and we went to barnes and noble until 11 to study for sats/psats---too bad the studying never happened...but we ate more--i mean, who can help it when you have a starbucks right next to you. being able to drive is so liberating. i need my license. i need to take behind the wheel. AH! guess what? welllll, the doctor is ordering SCRUBS for us!!!! i'm am SO excited. i really want to wear it to school one day. i want to get a flamboyant pattern. but we'll see. ah, SO COOL. okay, fun day. i have more psat classes tomorrow, some studying here and there and then maybe the gym? yeah yeah yeah? AHAHA, psats classes are so funny because it is so...unexplainaby awkwardishly funny?
okay, storytime---
after colorado, i was talking to one of the guys i met and trying to help make him a facebook. and he was like, "oh, our school has no email address" and without thinking it through, i was like, "oh, i could lend you mine." i am so stupid. soooo, now he has a facebook account with my email and now i am NOWHERE TO BE FOUND IN FACEBOOK LAND. i really liked my facebook. now all the hard work that i had invested in my 10 albums with the tagging and my 800+ wall posts, and my friends. they're all gone now. :( and it was my form of communication to people, esp in the summer. :(:(:( i was actually really disappointed when i found out. i was telling the guy, "hey! friend me!" and he was like, "you're...not there..." and i'm like, "WTF?!?!?!?!" yeah. i was really sad. and then i went on gmail talk and asked jeff chen and was like, "AM I ALIVE ON FACEBOOK?!" and he was like, "cindy, i'm working. stop talking to me. and NO, you are not on facebook." and then i just internally wailed for like an hour. (btw, i would've checked myself, but it wasn't working on my comp at the time. i swear i'm not that lazy--even if i was emotionally pained)
wow. i just wrote a really long and pointless entry.
and if anyone wants to hangout, call me. :) | | |
| so, i'm back.
...well, where did you go? annddddd it's not like you're an avid xanga writer anymore, so why does it matter?
hahaha. well, anyway---
how many times will you get the chance to embark on a journey that allows you to get another glimpse of life?
how many times will you be able to look up at the night sky and see the star twinkling down? and be able to see the milky way--that massive strip in the sky--and be able to see shooting stars while sitting in sagebrush in 20 degree weather?
how many times will you get to experience the beautifulness of that which we call earth? all the rich beauty in the mountains?
how many times will you be able to meet people who will have forever made an impact on your life with their prescence?
and how many times will you be able to craft policy that will somehow be able to make an impact?
keystone 2006.
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